Much Ado About Nothing

‘Tough decisions’- a phrase which could be associated with picking A levels or universities, jobs, love dilemmas… However, there is no tough decision quite like the calamity of choosing the perfect chocolate bar at the sweet shop.

Rent asunder by the audacious wrappers squealing, ‘Pick me! Pick me!’, I fiddle anxiously with the 60p I am holding. My eyes dart across the shelves from the golden encasing of the Galaxy bar to the bold purple armour of the Cadbury bar. Personally I favour the valiant purple. Congratulations Cadbury, you can humbly accept the crown. But the difficulty lies much further afield than the heart-wrenching choice between Galaxy’s classic Smooth Milk and Cadbury’s Dairy Milk… 

Often overshadowed by their domineering siblings, Picnic and StarBar were, too, born and bred by Cadbury. They perch idly by whilst Crunchie and Flake showcase themselves gallantly at the front line. I question whether I have the courage to venture into the unknown world of the underdogs? Picnic bar? Are you worth the exchange of my 60p? Or Daim? Will you satiate my lust for a serotonin-fuelled, indulgent chocolate bar? But what about Fudge? Will you really be ‘just enough until it’s time for tea’?

For someone who automatically charges passed the crisps and sweets, heading for the elite array of chocolate, you’d presume I would make a pretty speedy decision in the sweet shop. After all, with the crisps and sweets aside, I am left with a third of the choice the rest of the world have. But no. 

The length of my nails reduce by at least 5mm throughout the apprehensive biting of them* as I judge which bar is worthy enough to be devoured. My face grows redder and redder with embarrassment by the second as customers come and go whilst I am still deciding.

“This is ridiculous Ruth. You’ve been here far too long. It’s just a chocolate bar,” I tell myself.

But this is more than buying a chocolate bar. Chocolate is an avenue to happiness. But choose the wrong one and you are admitting yourself into the wrath of regret. You feel guilt towards the other chocolate bars who you abandoned and shame for your inability to identify the perfect chocolate bar.

So far I have survived the distressing trips to the sweet shop and tend to emerge outside again having made a decision I do not regret. And even if I do pick a dodgy bar, I can rest assured that I will learn from my experience and steer clear from making the same mistaken purchase in the future.

I endeavour to continue my regular trip to the sweet shop to make the painful choice. With time the struggle should dwindle. And I assure you that this is not simply an excuse to eat more chocolate… Promise!

*please note that due to the hyperbolic nature of this post, some facts are not 100% accurate, including that I bite my nails. I DO NOT BITE MY NAILS; in fact I gave up that habit 5 years ago!

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