BREAKING NEWS!! FOUR YEAR OLD WEARS DUMMY!!

Young Harper with Daddy Dave

Young Harper with Daddy Dave

Breaking news! Someone call social services! The supposedly responsible David and Victoria Beckham, have been unveiled by the heroic Daily Mail as neglectful and delinquent parent. It is alleged that the couple have committed the sinful crime of- wait for it…-allowing their daughter, Harper, to suck a dummy at the ripe age of 4! Absolutely outrageous, isn’t it!

Note the sarcasm.

They say news in the summer has little substance but I reckon the Daily Mail must really have been stumped in terms of ideas for articles this time. They, somehow, perceived this piece of news to be worthy of a place on the front page, usually the home the most important, remarkable news.

How low are you going to dive, Daily Mail, before you realise you have sunken too far? Ridiculing a four year old is disgusting. Demeriting blameless parents is disgusting. And feeding the brains of Brits with news resembling mule worms is disgusting. Are these editors totally oblivious to the detrimental impact their intangible stories can have upon a person? Harper Beckham may not be able to read these scathing stories yet, but just wait a few years when she is smart enough to type her name into Google. Then, she will find that hateful article and a mocking photo of the young her with pigtails and a dummy.

Thinking back, as a young vulnerable child, I was easily embarrassed. Things that should not bother a 6 year old would play on my mind.

“No one else in my class has these shoes, Mummy”, I would whine, too embarrassed to be seen out of the house in what were perfectly reasonable school shoes.

“Oh no, I don’t go to church!” I would lie to my atheist friends, who I would desperately try to please, as I felt like I was ‘different’ if I went to church.

I’m sure if I was ridiculed by a national newspaper at the age of four, confidence would have fallen off me like flaking skin. Personally I was a very sensitive child and a ridiculing like the one young Harper has been given would be enough to send me running under the covers of my safe bed and hiding there until the relentless tears were dry.

Not that the Beckhams need to justify themselves, but I am very keen to add that I still sucked my thumb at five. The evidence remained for the rest of my childhood due to the bunny teeth I carried around in my mouth which had been caused by the incessant sucking of my thumb…

Daily Mail, I urge you to quickly reassess your priorities when writing articles. Write what you want (within reason) about adult celebrities and the mishaps and mischief that shapes their lives, but please, please restrain yourselves from writing derogatory reports about 4 year olds. Otherwise your audience will relinquish to equal the amount of self-respect you have: none.

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