Have you ever properly listened to the words sung by the so-called music ‘artists’? Or are you someone like me, who (up until the other day, that is) hums along mindlessly, pretending to know the lyrics?
If you answered ‘yes’ to the latter, fear not! After scouring my iTunes library (and the Internet as even I haven’t purchased some of the AWFUL songs!), I found a fair few mind-bogglingly ridiculous lyrics and have created a compilation of my personal favourites. So, in no particular order…
1. REBECCA BLACK- FRIDAY
“Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after … wards”
The days of the week; a concept I never quite understood. But thanks to Rebecca Black, it all makes sense now!
2. AVRIL LAVIGNE- SK8ER BOI
“He was a boy, she was a girl”
No joke, these singers astound me with their sheer intelligence…
3. HILARY DUFF- SO YESTERDAY
“If the light is off, then it isn’t on”
Thank you for your inspiring lyrics, Duff.
4. ED SHEERAN- THINKING OUT LOUD
“I will be loving you until we’re 70
I really do pity Ed Sheeran’s lover. She will have to live with the knowledge that her devoted ginger ninja is going to dump her at the ripe age of 70.
5. ICONA POP- I LOVE IT
“I crashed my car into the bridge. I don’t care”
I’m glad Icona Pop have made enough money to be able to crash their car and ‘not care’, but not only do they not care, they ‘love it’. Huh?
6. JASON MRAZ- I’M YOURS
“Do you want to come on, scooch on over closer, dear, And I will nibble your ear”
Arguably one of my favourite songs, ‘I’m Yours’ is just fabulous. But am I the only person who is reminded of Little Red Riding Hood visiting her supposedly innocent granny, who is really a wolf, when Jason Mraz sings these slimy lyrics?
7. KENNY CHESNEY- SHE THINKS MY TRACTOR’S SEXY
“She thinks my tractor’s sexy,
It really turns her on,
She’s always staring at me,
While I’m chugging along”
Whilst pretty much all the lyrics in this is song are completely ridiculous, these are my personal favourites. Although I admire Chesney’s true passion for being a farmer, I think he may be slightly delusional. Ken, are you sure your tractor ‘turns her on’…?
8. ROBBIE WILLIAMS- CANDY
“She was educated but could not count to 10”
Once again, I love this song! But I have failed to ever be able to comprehend these lyrics. Anyone care to explain?
9. BLACK EYED PEAS- BOOM BOOM POW
“Beats so big I’m stepping on leprechauns
Shittin’ on y’all with the…”
So they’re squashing those poor Irish leprechauns and then pooping on the rest of the world. Thanks.
10. CHEEKY GIRLS- THE CHEEKY SONG (TOUCH MY BUM)
“Touch my bum This is life”
Of all questions that have puzzled philosophers for centuries, ‘What is the meaning of life?’ is the one that sticks out. But not for much longer as it seems to have been solved by Gabriela and Monica Irimia. Those are my top ten, but what are yours? I would love to hear them, so comment on Facebook, Instagram or below!!